PODCAST EPISODE 172: WANT TO HEAT UP YOUR BEDROOM THIS VALENTINE’S DAY? TALK ABOUT MONEY!

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Hello and welcome to your business, your wealth. My name is Paul Adams. I am the founder and CEO of sound finance group. I am also your co host here at your business, your wealth. And most importantly, I am joined as always, by Corey Shepard, a man whose wife says he’s the most romantic man she has ever been married to Corey Shepard.

Thank you, Paul. That is, that is a wonderful introduction. I was afraid of what you’re gonna say. And that was my feet. I had no reason to be afraid. Why am I ever afraid? I’ll be afraid next time though. I’ve been storing something up for you. I’m just trying to lull you into a false sense of security here. So our audience will really get to enjoy your reaction when I let the next one.

Well, I’m excited for our show today, too. It’s been a while since we recorded with holidays and some time off, it feels like we haven’t done this for a good long time. And I’m excited what we’re talking about today, this is going to drop sometime close to Valentine’s Day. So folks, you see by the title, we’ve got a nice steamy episode for you. And, you know, our thinking about this episode is that if you plan apart, plan your finances apart, as a couple you’re guaranteed to lose together. And that’s that’s our overarching theme today. And so follow our advice and Valentine’s Day just might end very well for you, gentlemen and ladies alike. Wink wink. But before we get to that, Paul, you’ve got a great article for this weekend planning.

Yeah, this week in planning which for those of you that are just listening, we don’t have any visuals for today because it’s more of a slight just continued awareness. The degree to which the financial writers and financial pundits are really after some super, what I would call clickbait type titles of their articles and they’re very easy for these articles actually leave you under the wrong impression. And so this one today is from yet

called CCN. You know, we gave a pretty click Beatty title for our episode today, but I think that it’s meant to give you the right impression, not the wrong impression. I think that’s a very important distinction we want to have is on but leading you down the right road not creating confusion and dissent.

A men brother Yes, all of our click Beatty titles are followed by click Beatty episodes, as opposed to click Beatty titles that then give you know click Beatty meat. So this one is an article called Buffett indicator Warren stocks doomed for worse crash than 2008 who and it sounds super chilly. Most of them do. Now, here’s I think one of the biggest problems, let’s say you’re scrolling through newsfeed, whether you read CNN, Wall Street Journal or you’re just going through Google News or some other aggregator like Apple news, and this title shows up. The thing is most of you don’t actually read the article and that’s okay. But the thing to be aware of that I would almost want everybody to do is you’re listening. When you see a title, it says Buffett indicator, warned stocks doomed for Worst crash in 2008. Is the impression you’re left under by the title without even engaging in the article is Buffett indicator. That means like, to me, it sounds a lot like Warren Buffett said

that there’s going to be audit in the article once he’s gone once.

Well, technically, he is once in a declaration he made back in 1999. Ah, so that’s all most relevant because it was nearly in this century. Yes, it was done in the last two decades. So that’s pretty relevant, I guess. But the thing is that it’s, they leave you under the impression that because some indicator that Buffett referenced in the past, which has to do with a correlation between the price to earnings ratio of individual stocks and the market capitalization versus GDP. And the thing is that you can read through the entire article and all it does is give you an unsettling feeling, no grounded assessments, and no recommendations of what to do just leave you with an under toe of doubt, fear worry. Meanwhile, the article all around the edges has what advertisements for financial institutions that you could end up transacting with once you’re good and fearful about whatever your existing strategy is. That’s why we do this show. That’s why we’re in these conversations with you constantly. And we’ve got a bit of a dilemma. We’d love to get your feedback on this. Now. Okay, time to do that Corey.

Yeah, yeah, I think that’s the thing. That’s good idea.

So one thing that we were aware of is that there’s there’s some articles like there’s a recent article that Corey and I had a deep discussion about today. And we decided not to talk about the article because we don’t want to be as a platform that spends time just bashing. The advice given by these financial entertainers, on web and online like written news, you know, like video or audio.

And that’s mainly because it’s low hanging fruit and we’re better we want to be better than that.

Well, and, and the thing that we want to do is we’d love to be able to call out what’s wrong, but balance that with so we don’t end up is some sort of like, you know, the The other type of thing they talk about in online media is rage bait, like the things that will get you angry and get you out in action and we don’t want to be a rage bait, you know, channel either. So with that if you guys have any feedback about what you would Do if you see something that’s patently false in your industry and you need to talk about it? What do you do? Or what would you suggest we could do to soften that when we deliver the truth and that you can email to info at SF GW comm info at SF GW a.com. Also, if what you prefer we do is just tear these people apart limb from limb, please send that directly to me directly on LinkedIn or he will delete it he gets the he gets to see the info mailbox. You need to send those straight to me so I can make the case to Corey that I can go ahead and tear these people apart publicly. What you don’t know he has a whole separate podcast that I just recently found out he’s just been thrown down the memory hole. It’s all my best rants. So if you think you’d like to hear me rant about finance repeatedly, please email info at SF TWA COMM And also message me directly on social. Ask Paul Adams on Instagram, on Twitter, or of course Paul Adams on LinkedIn Okay, Cory, I think I’m complete with that part. Now why don’t you take us back to the corpus of this episode?

So here’s my new correlation is when your introduction of me is very light, I have no reason to be afraid. It’s actually something later in the episode that I’ve recently read, but

just intro intro safe content dangerous, intro dangerous content safe, that good, good heuristic to use.

So, everybody listening out there, we’re gonna give you the secrets to having a wonderful Valentine’s Day and heat things up with your spouse or significant other. And, you know, first we’re just going to talk about the fact that talking about money is one of the most important things that couples can do. Now we can start talking about retirement and into the future, and then get more specific about that later. But first, just the disclaimer is we kind of think retirements a dirty word. But we’re going to use it today fairly frequently, just because that’s how a lot of people are used to thinking about retirement. For the record, we teach deify or definite financial independence as the thing to go after not this other word retirement. So even though we might be vomiting up in our mouth just a little bit as we, as we do it, we’re gonna we’re going to use those those words. So

with that, oh, let’s talk about how people talk about retirement. Right? I want you guys to really, so you’re doing whatever you’re doing right now you are driving lifting weights, you’re out on a run, you’re doing dishes, or your kids are screaming and you’ve just put on your boy Bose noise cancelling headphones and you’re like, I’m gonna listen to this podcast and hopefully nobody’s eating. Or at least I didn’t get any blood on the carpet while I listen this episode and all those reasons are fine to be listening. We get lots of feedback about what people are doing while they’re listening to this podcast. But I want you to take a moment and slowed down a bit. Because I really want you to consider something. Think about the last time you heard somebody talk about retiring, or retirement. And the thing is, it almost always involves what? what they’re going to do when I retire,

that it doesn’t matter.

When we retire, we’re going to travel the world, hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, live wherever our children have, everything is about some thing they’re going to do or how their life is going to look. But it’s a very, very high concept, meaning they live with it. Like consider the way people talk about is almost like all they have to do is survive to age 6567 whatever their future is. 70 I just hold on to the earth

is hold on tight until I get there.

Yeah, hurry Through the universe at an ungodly speed, and somehow survive long enough that I get to retire, because I’m now 65 or 67 or 70 years old. Or people may say, Well, I’ll never be able to retire. Now that one I would also blow up because both of those deal with the one that says, like, here’s what my life’s gonna look like when I’m 65. That is probably fantasy. And I’ll explain why in a moment. And this is what life will look like when I’m 65. That includes I’m going to have to work forever is also a fantasy. Let me explain. The second one first. The reason it’s fantasy to say, Well, I can probably never retire. It’s not our choice. At some point, no matter what you do in the marketplace, you just become less value. It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault. People sometimes call it ageism, but at some point, unfortunately, going all the way back to 1937 in the institute of Social Security, we started thinking about retirement as older people are no longer worth much. That’s not your fault. It’s not my fault. It’s literally a government program that has been in our lexicon for nearly a century, that has caused you to feel that way. And it causes everybody else to feel that way. And when we get over a certain age, people value us less. That’s just the way it is right now. Maybe that’ll change the next 1520 years. But right now, that is the case. So you don’t get the choice. You may have to do something to earn money for a very long time. The odds are you can stay in your high income earning career or Own your business forever. Not likely. You know, everybody that works for you, once you’re in your late 50s and early 60s, have a high level of importance in your company all thinks they’re gonna be able to buy that thing out. Do you think they’re cool if you just go on to 75? No, we’ve had lots of clients that are that younger person coming up and I’ll tell you what, they leave your company and go compete with you

that you know, you just reminded me of Well, you reminded me of a couple of things, you reminded me that you reminded me to read loser think by Scott Adams because it’s just came out. And he I just read this morning, his whole piece about, you know, goals are losers think systems are useful or something, something like that. But it’s so hard to predict the future. Not that we don’t want to have goals and things we want to move forward. But I’ll give you one on me two years ago, if you asked me to predict my future over the next two years, I would not have said anything about Chicago, the house I live, like, I would have been way off. And that’s only two years out. So to say, this is what life is gonna be like it’s 65. But we can build a system to bring us to have some choices when we get to the future. I think that’s, that’s what that’s what you just taught me.

Exactly right. And, in fact, think about this for a moment how much people treat it like it’s just in the air. So if you take somebody that’s got a pet And mostly government employees, things like that. Even people have a pension, like they took a job, in part because there’s a guaranteed income after they put in a certain amount of years. And so I have some fun with this in my regular life to bring you guys good material for the show. And one of the things I did at church the other day is kind of ask somebody like, Hey, what are you gonna do with the pension when you retire? Like how much is it? How does it work all that. Now, this is somebody who says, Well, I’m going to need the pension. Great. How does it work? I don’t know. Well, do you know if you have a survivor benefit option? No, no, no. Now we find out most of the time that clients are assessing that within like a year of retirement. I counter that people that are counting on a pension should have figured out whether or not they would do a survivor, which is something continuous for my spouse after I die, or life only, which is only my life for the rest of my life, that we get payments. They should have figured that out or gotten some semblance of what they would do when they took the job, because that was part of their compensation package. So I want to encourage all of you that literally, we can hear that people live in a very high concept way, about retirement, about what that future is going to look like, and how vague any preparedness is. So if you want to have fun, awkward silence at the next cocktail party, let the idea of retirement creep up, and then just ask somebody, hey, do you know how much capital at work it’s gonna take you to be able to have that lifestyle?

Or actually, how much capital at work? Do you think it would take you? Right? Because they might say my back? Well, yeah, of course I know. But then you’re the journal, the number

how much how much capital work is going to take so good boy, how much capital work is going to take and then you can just have fun, stay quiet. See how high you can count before they change the subject or come up with like their best guess of an answer. Because most all the people doing that don’t realize that they have no number and you You can help them by being and then they say, even if they have a number like 5 million, go, Man, that’s awesome. Do you think you’re on track to do it? That’s the little ways we can insert effective conversations about money into our everyday conversations, to actually help other people around us to think better about money, because we’re thinking better about your thinking or better about it, because you’re here listening to this.

And so that’s, you know, and if you’re helping other people, like guaranteed you and your significant other spouse are having those conversations too, or maybe you’re having them with all your friends together, which is a nice parallel to support each other. But what about so that’s the future, what about the present? Now, here’s a great example that I’ve seen before in couples, let’s say that you want to take a vacation this year, and you’ve got the plan. You’re like, it’s okay. We can splurge a little every once in a while. But your spouse is against that vacation. They handle the monthly budget, and they can see that you’ve actually got already been splurging by about 20% over your regular budget for about six months in a row. But you, you don’t see that. So you feel like they never want to spend money. And they feel like all you ever do is spend money. And so you’re fighting over what you’re fighting over the thing that you actually don’t have a disagreement over. If you both saw that whole perspective, then you would not have a disagreement or it wouldn’t be you on opposite sides of the table fighting over something, it would be you on both on the same side of the problem saying, oh, okay, I guess I do see that we’re we are already splurging. So now we just got to make the choice. Do you want to keep splurging monthly, or stop that for the big splurge later?

Well, and for one, something you brought up there, Cory that I just don’t want to lose sight of because you said it’s so quick. And so I want to say it again, go slower, which is that idea that the two of you could You’re disagreeing. But you’re actually just on different sides of the problem, not like opponents, just you’re seeing it differently. And sometimes just by bringing in the appropriate, accurate thinking, you actually realize that you both agree, is a huge distinction. But there’s a key component here. We know most of you listening own a business. And in that business, you make an enormous amount of financial decisions all on your own. Yes, you you I buy a $2 million piece of equipment. without consulting your spouse, why would you that’s the business. You have, you know, 300 employees and you’re gonna expand by 50. More. That’s a business decision. you currently have four employees and you’re gonna hire two more in 2020 like Cory and I appropriately did not review the business budget with our spouses this year. They don’t know they’ve got other things to worry about my wife homeschools kids. Cory, his wife is studying to Become while not studying him or she is. She is a doctor area. If you guys haven’t heard both Ben Shapiro’s wife is a doctor and so is Corey Shepards wife, that she is literally taking care of kids all day and needed to learn how to do that. She’s just taking care of them in pediatrics. So here’s the thing. We don’t run that past our spouses, we make million dollar plus decisions, and don’t run them past our spouses. It’s very easy to let that bleed right into the household and for your spouse and for you, or the spouse that’s not working in the business, maybe they have their own career or maybe they stay at home. It’s very easy for them to say you handle it you already handle all those other business decisions. You don’t need me for this. I want to encourage you to make sure that you’re clear. The way you make your business decisions may was and some businesses propriate you include your spouse in certain decisions. We certainly keep our spouses up to date. But well make it go ahead

further record like you probably want to have the spouse money to sit conversations from First before some of those big business decisions, because that might dictate what you care about. And like, unless you just kind of have some dreams for expanding for the sake of expanding because you won’t hit some number great, but maybe your personal life doesn’t require your business to do the thing you were going to have it do. So you don’t make that decision. Like that’s something else to have in the background.

And I would encourage all of you if that sounds a little different, you should listen back to our last episode or episode. Yeah, our last episode before this one is one where we deal with designing 2020 in order personal ambition first, and financial ambition, then your business or career planning. So, again, make sure that you’re talking about the present day stuff with your spouse, don’t fall into temptation many business owners have which already makes so many huge decisions on my own, that we just make the personal financial decisions also. Anything else before we go to commercial Corey.

Now, I get to Great time to go to commercial. We’ll get a quick message from sound Financial Group when we get back talk about how to guarantee that things warm up this Valentine’s Day. Stay tuned. Alright, so I’ll bring us back in like, Paul, what’s the first takeaway? I can come back and say, Paul, what’s the first takeaway for this episode? Is that a good?

Yeah, that’d be perfect.

Okay. All right, and welcome back to our Valentine’s Day episode of your business, your wealth, I can honestly say I wouldn’t have ever have predicted we’d have a Valentine’s Day themed episode, this podcast, but I sure am glad that we are. Paul, what’s the first takeaway or action step for folks from this from this conversation?

Well, there’s all kinds of things that can happen with Valentine’s people can end You’ll notice people usually will plan something like a dinner. It’s why the restaurants are packed, or they’ll plan some romantic outing. And they do. Nearly everything on the planning side is done for the location or the babysitter, whatever the quote, unquote romantic evening is going to be. But if you want to spark real romance, the kind that lasts for long periods of time, you should talk about long periods of time in the future. Hey, I just want to like, let’s just talk about what we’d like our life to look like you don’t need to bring up the financial stuff over your Valentine’s dinner. But just imagine just bringing out a piece of paper and being able to jot a few things down like hey, what if we’re just thinking about life three years from now? What do we want it to look like? personally, professionally? You know, do we have any financial goals we do want to put on that this doesn’t mean dealing with budget or how much money we need to save. But just like Hey, what do we think would be good to have done what about five years? Anything? It’s on your mind five years out. Now, there’s a reason why businesses only do three to five year projections. Because people That’s very difficult to do anything with. But But your personal, what I would say, the directionality, like well, Cory talked about I would have never thought certain things that are true in his life right now would have been true two years ago, he could have never planned for them. But his planning he had done. The conversations he and his wife had already had about the future and the way they were preparing for it. Absolutely prepared him for the unexpected, in a good way, the unexpected future that was going to happen which by the way, when you’re talking about the future, preparing for the future, both in the conversations you have with what you’re doing your calendar and where you’re dealing with childcare, and the way you might be dealing with money, all prepare you better for the uncertain future you would have which is far better than being directionless, aimless, not having the financial or otherwise preparedness in place and then uncertainty hits. It is far better to have planned for the future. And then Have a future show up. You didn’t expect them to have not planned for the future and have life deliver By default, the future you now have to deal with unprepared. So think about what that list could be where do you want to live? How do you guys want to spend your time? Are there any new hobbies either one of you want to pick up? Are there hobbies you currently have that you want to drop? Those are the things that can begin to have you in a shared future. Cory said earlier, if we’re not thinking about the future together financially, then we’re going to fail as a family. Well, I’ll throw out to you that if you’re not talking about the future, so that you guys can grow together in the future, you’re likely going to grow apart, because the only thing that could happen is each of you could be holding disparate views of that future. And if you you can look at the studies, people with the ability and usually in younger people, it’s measured in ambition. But the ambition isn’t just it ambition is I’ve got goals for the future and I’m willing to take actions day to do something about them. That’s versus daydreaming where the person says, I’m gonna have this big future business zero today to do anything about it. That is super sexy to your spouse. That’s why it’s talked about often as one of the sexiest things single people can do when they’re dating. So go back to that base root of what probably was part of the initial attraction of you and your spouse was your plans for the future or thinking about the future, being responsible enough to live in the future to a certain extent, bring that back and start bringing up the future. And you just say to your spouse, I want to go out to a really great dinner, we’re gonna have an amazing time. But let’s just take like Intel our meal gets there. Let’s talk about the future what we both want, because we don’t stop life often enough to do it. And, and just picture like a cartoon set of hearts beating out of your spouse’s Because I think that’s what’s gonna happen for you.

That first time our first date when I asked Danielle, so how much of your income are setting aside on a weekly basis right now?

Yeah. We locked it down, right? Yeah, pulled out his cell phone and ran a Credit Karma on her right in that minute, man. But But you’re, you’re right Cory, is it? You didn’t do that. But what you did do is like the things that naturally come up in conversation. You know, you said things like one day I’m gonna own a financial advisory firm, check. Right one day we’re gonna have this kind of freedom check. And she prepared also because she originally wasn’t going to be a physician. Originally it was physician’s assistant, and then she got inspired. She got after it and decided Nope, I’m going to become a doctor. But the everything she’d done to prepare to become a PA applied to her becoming a physician. It’s a perfect example of future plans. Prepared You for the future that you can’t plan. But not for the future prepares you for whatever the future delivers, like doesn’t prepare you at all. It just blindside you left and right. And by the way, most all of us have an employee that we watch get blindsided by the future or friend from church or somebody else we know who over and over and over again is blindsided by the future. But if you really dug in and asked them if they had any plans for the future, most of them don’t, which is why the future keeps blindsiding them.

Well with that, we have one more piece before we let you go and amazing feature review that came in since our last recording this is piku says intelligent, personal and helpful. Regardless of the level of your financial exposure and training. There will always be a few nuggets of wisdom offered in these podcasts. In November 2019. Paul and Cory challenged us to consider for example, how many hours we expect our money to support us more No longer in work mode, as compared to how many hours a year we spent learning or talking or engaging in conversation about money. Sound Financial Group is out to give value to every listener regardless of whether or not you’re a financial potential client to them take advantage of their highly considered approach to Financial Intelligence. Hi, Sue, thank you for that review. I think we got your your email to send you a copy of my book or Paul’s book or clockwork by Michael mccalla wits. Remember, please leave a review. Whatever honest review you can send us that screenshot we’d be happy to send you a copy one of those books and helps you more than you helps us more than you could know to get this knowledge and perspective out to folks out there in the world. And more importantly, it helps the people like for some of you, you’re listening this podcast right now and it’s just random, like a popped up in iTunes or popped up on overcast or Spotify. The reason that occurred is because people reviewed this podcast. The reason that occurred is because people share this podcast On social, you can make a difference for other people by making sure they have a chance to hit, click on download, listen to and then reflect on this content, you might save somebody’s financial future, we may never meet them. You may never meet them. But you might make an enormous difference for that person you’ve never met by making sure they’re getting solid content that allows them to build the future they want. And as always, from here, it’s our financial group from Corey and I. We hope that this episode has been a contribution to you being able to design and build a good life.

super weird. Yeah, how long that was? It was super long. How long?

Oh 2009. Yeah.

I saw

40 Yeah. So

great. Yes. I was looking over here like did we have a review and I looked at the last couple weeks, hosted, stirred and then it’s like, oh, we had an new one,

so I forgot to do that ahead of time. What was that? JOHN?

Cory Can you give me a week with your left? Yeah,

you gotta lean in get close man get close to the camera you gotta like it’s gotta be a smiling week not a wedding one that looks like you just encountered a brain injury.

I can’t

say you got a limitation on what Corey may have just had a stroke and this is how we’re finding out

oh this make Corey

be so great. Or like me in the middle with the the Wink with a smile and then all of the palsy shots of Korea surrounding this is Paul winking. This is Corey finding out he had a brain tumor.

With two blinking with blinking with two eyes.

Cool man. Oh no

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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