PODCAST EPISODE 257 – What do you Want to be Thankful for Next Thanksgiving?

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0:05

Hello and welcome to your business your wealth. My name is Paul Adams. I am joined today by Corey Shepard who you all don’t know is about to participate in a short pop quiz. Oh, by the way, Korean president of sound financial group etc. Cory Why is it? I wear camouflage crocs

0:27

Why do you wear camouflage? Crocs? Yeah,

0:30

well I wear camouflage crocs.

0:33

I’m, I’m up. I’m hung up on why do you wear crocs? Danielle asked if she should give me some crocs. And I said, No, I’m not an out of work, Chef?

0:48

Well, your answer is almost the answer. I wear camouflage crocs because I don’t want to be seen in them. That was actually you don’t even know, like a honeybee. You were circling the flower. And I think you might have given you another minute. Yeah, had it. All right. Well, we we’ve got kind of a fun topic for all of you today. And just a little bit of a conversation and reflection, as we come into Thanksgiving. Kind of the title and theme today is, what do you want to be thankful for next Thanksgiving. Because it’s a conversation most people don’t have is that we’re often thankful for what happened over the prior year. And I gotta say that for many families, it was a little bit tough during COVID. Like, what I’m thankful that I haven’t been able to see my grandparents. I’m thankful for it. Like there’s, it’s been tough. You know, I guess if you didn’t like your grandparents, that would be a win. But for you know, most of us it’s like we we wanted to be able to spend time with those people and, and some Thanksgivings just couldn’t happen. And now you might be getting together for the first time with people in long time. I’m hearing it from our clients, Cory. Oh, folks are like, oh, yeah, you know, so and so and so and so’s coming over? We haven’t seen them in two and a half years. So the question isn’t, so as part of what are we thankful for this year, but then it’s also cueing us up to be thinking about our, our businesses, if you’re a business owner, or career as an executive or manager, and then more importantly, our personal life and where we want to arrive by next Thanksgiving, such that we might be thankful for a bunch of things that were there by design, instead of by default.

2:31

You know, the, the other thing that just occurred to me, I mean, we’re going to talk about planning for what we want to create in our lives that aren’t there yet. And thinking about what I want to be thankful for next Thanksgiving might be okay, what am I thankful for now that I absolutely want to put effort into making sure remains in my life? Yeah, relationships, we have conditions of life that we have that that we want to say, Okay, I gotta guard this, protect this and keep this strong. Yeah, I’m going to create some other new things, but there’s some things I want to pour energy into maintenance to make sure they stay around. Yes. Not what we had talked about for this episode. But I think that’s yeah, I think that’s, you know, everyone listening, sometimes we sail out into the wild blue yonder without a whole heck of a lotta of a map. And that can make some of us nervous on this, at least 50% of us nervous on this podcast, that sometimes some really cool things come out that we weren’t expecting. So yes, I think that’s, that’s one of them.

3:34

So let’s, let’s talk about that. And maybe just talk through some specific examples. Because people are listening today, this is going to be a little bit more of a relaxing one, you’re not going to have to remember, you know, contribution rates to IRAs, or income limits or Roth, we don’t have any of that stuff for you today. But more just like think about those domains of your life, and what you’re really thankful for. So maybe just to kick off Cory, what would be some of the areas you’d think of as different segments of somebody’s life, they’d want to be paying attention to because normally, it’s like, everybody gets a career plan or a business plan, you do that at work for a manager or you own the company, you’re doing it so your team knows which direction you’re going. What let’s start with the stuff that’s maybe outside of career in business that I think can get left behind in this conversation.

4:21

Yeah, for sure. Well, you know, families, the big one and family can be parents or you know, the romantic or special relationship in your in your life, your significant other kids are really good friends, you know, people that are really, really close, and investing in those relationships and thinking about how all the other decisions you’re gonna make, affect those relationships, your health. Health is a is a huge one. That I don’t think, you know, folks plan strategically or out. And that can sound weird. But like, we know that willpower just won’t do it. It’ll fail before anything else that’s opposing you. And so when you’re designing your life for the next year thinking about the environments you’re going to create around you and put yourself in. If your health is of concern, you want to make some changes to health, then starting to engineer those different environments and the like they all intersect the people that you’re spending time with, and what they care about in their health. Like that can make a big difference for for you.

5:33

And just before he hit the next one, Cory, the thing I want to call attention to is the thing you said earlier, for everybody listening is that that there? There’s the here’s who I want to create those areas. But don’t forget what Cory said earlier, like, here’s what I already have, that I need to maintain. You know, it’s like it’s so easy to say. And I’ll give a silly example on the health side is I really wanted to dip my toes into jujitsu. And, but I set a hurdle for myself. That was I needed to do my CrossFit kind of functional fitness five days a week, for at least three months before I would let myself add anything else. Like if I can’t work out five days a week, don’t go add another membership to the budget. And so as I begin to explore that medic medic guy who’s got a, a jujitsu gym near here, I don’t know if gyms right term. I don’t think it’s a dojo in judo studio. I don’t know, they’re rolling. They call it rolling. Yeah, I’m learning that. So anyway, I’m gonna go roll around with these folks. But what I’m being very clear about is how do I do that? Without compromising the five days a week I’ve now built the habit for because if I’m not careful, I could add the new thing. And be like, oh, and I can no longer make it five days a week. Yeah, and which isn’t the end of the world? Maybe it’s three days a week and two days a week. But I want to do that with eyes wide open. I don’t want to do it accidentally. So I want to preserve something and create something new in fitness. Okay, keep going. I love I love the way this is developing.

7:23

Yeah. So we talked about health family talks about family. Now you’re specifically leaving money off the list for now? And oh, yes

7:33

or no, go put it put them on, I just want to make sure we’re hitting the other ones also, because just gravitates toward business money goals, you know, or, or they don’t have a health goal. They have a weight goal, maybe, is what they say they want to have for 2023. But the better move might be what did I do this year that was positive for my health that I’m grateful for? And then what can I do to maintain that and enhance it and 2023? And this isn’t business planning for 2023 or life play? We’ll talk about that closer to the end of the year. Right. But this is a great moment of reflection. Because one, one tradition many families are in is to have that roundtable conversation. What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Great exercise to be in and you may hear things other people are thankful for. That makes you aware of things you’re thankful for that you had just sort of slipped into the you know, lost in the sauce of life, if you will,

8:33

right. The already always listening of it. You Yeah. Oh, you know, I think so. Let’s talk about money for a second. I think that, you know, we’ve certainly been guilty and many years now in our past, but I was thinking back to some of those planning sessions we’ve done where money goals can come first. And then it’s like, okay, how do I have to organize my life to make those things happen? And now I think we’ve really become more of a Okay, well, life first, and then the money goals are just a function of that, like, what’s the life that you want to have? Yes, and we should serve, serve that if there’s not a reason, you know, if you already kind of everything you want for all other conditions of your life with X amount of money is 10 extra hours a week 4x plus 10% worth it if you’re already satisfied and all these other places, because you’re gonna have to take away from something else. Yes. So that’s

9:42

the so that that idea of let’s say, if you did your lifestyle, and you realize wait, I can fund my current lifestyle or the lifestyle I’d like to have on $300,000 a year, but I need to make a total of 500 so I’m saving enough so I can fund that lifestyle after my working years are over. And if if you’ve got a strategy to hit the 500, what I see happen nowhere near often enough. Now, this is not something that every corporate person can do what I’m about to say, but how many business owners I know, who could say, throttle back on the throttle back in a big way, like shrink their company or anything like that, but they’re pushing for so many growth oriented things. But if you ask them, Are you making enough money to take care of everything you want? Where your family? And so like, yeah. But to ask him the question to yourself. And here’s why this is important. Because nobody else is going to even someone like me, I’m going to touch in on it with you, if you’re one of those people who I’ve done this with, I touch in just a little bit, and then I see your resistance to it. To say like, well, what if you just took on maintaining the same income, but working 20 hours a week and having all that time you want with your kids. And when you reject that little bit of a toe in the water that somebody put around maybe having more free time than everybody cuts off, because they don’t want to, they don’t want to impact their relationship with you, especially if you’re listening to this, you’re really successful person. People value their relationship with you. And they don’t want to make you angry, because they’re saying you need to spend more time with your family in your business more important or to risk. They don’t want to risk thinking that you could think that of them. Yeah. So. So for the only person that’s going to do a good job of this reflection of weight, how does my life need to look. And the finances and funding of that lifestyle comes second. But if part of that is you want more time with your family, all of that if you set that intention of I’m only going to work four days, we can take Friday’s off in 2023. Because I took three for that was one of the things I was thankful for. And 2022, I took three Friday’s off, and in some of the best time I had with my kids. So I’m gonna try to do that every Friday. If you then start telling people, your staff, your friends, your vendors, you’d be amazed how all those people will organize around allowing you to make that happen as the business owner.

12:22

And I was really amazed at how sorry, I was

12:26

gonna say, and don’t say that, how much they will mobilize around you to keep you busy, because they think that’s what you want.

12:33

Right? You know, when we were, you know, when Danielle was pregnant the first time, I was amazed at how, as I was communicating this thing happening, I was going to be gone for a while, like how much people were organizing around that. And so now that it’s happening again, I’m definitely following the same, the same model,

12:53

which if you guys missed it, there is a new Shepherd inbound.

12:58

This is true stork arrives in February. Coming in hot, baby,

13:04

I’m going in. You talked about business owners may be dialing back. And whether it’s a business owner or someone who works for a company, let’s say an executive, you know, the dialing back may just be mentally, like not happy having that really feeling of tension and urgency around everything. And that might been what have been what got you so far to where you are. But there’s always there’s always costs on the other side of that kind of activity. So dialing back a little bit, may lose you something but gain you something else. Like it may not produce any different results in your business at the end of the day. You know, Tim Ferriss, he was interviewing, you know, he has a couple of books interviewing a lot of really successful people, I think it was him talking to his friend Josh Waitzkin, who’s the chess prodigy was talking about going for a bike ride every week or you know, a few times a week and he would just drain and push as hard as he could. And he got you know, got it done in I don’t know, something like 45 minutes. And then one day just just had to just enjoy himself on the bike ride. And he was still timing and it like it was like 43 minutes. You know, it was like a two minute difference. Maybe even less than that. I don’t remember the exact story. But that can happen in our business lives to where you just like you just change your demeanor around how you’re interacting with that you might feel like you’re scaling back because you’ve been driving so hard. But yes, that relaxation can actually open up new opportunities that you weren’t getting even if you lose a couple because you weren’t so intense you make gained back just as much as you lost or more from that scaling back and focusing on other areas of your your life and all

14:58

US is a bit of an analogy, but for some of you to hear is going to be a stretch. But if you’ve ever been around somebody who really knows how to fight, I mean, like hand to hand are trained in whatever. And you see an argument kickoff between two people. And one guy is full of bluster and all that, and you watch the other person, and they put their legs side by side, and they just relax into it a little bit, and you go, Oh, that’s the one that knows what they’re doing. And people immediately pick up on that, and you’d be amazed how often people won’t engage. I personally had a situation not too dissimilar than that when two folks tried to attack me in Salt Lake, like story, I can tell another day on the podcast, but what you’ll notice is when that if you get a chance to shift that demeanor, because you’re really centered in your own aims, then what you’re going to find, I think, is people will change how they operate around you. They won’t bring that agitation. And I remember, this is an extreme version. But I remember years ago, I was getting all kinds of stuff, interrupting my evenings, on my cell phone, text messages, phone calls, all kinds of stuff. So I got a burner to keep in the house. And it was your prepaid phone. And I could just put audible on it like a podcasting app. And that was it. And I left that phone in my car every night. The first day, there were a bunch of messages. Second day, there were some messages by the third day, nobody interacted with me after five o’clock. It was that fast. That there was some way that I didn’t realize that I was incentivizing that behavior. And you might find that people are way more frenetic around you. Because maybe that energy is coming from you. That’s tough to realize, if you’re realizing it, but you only find out on the other side. So we got family, the idea of getting the lifestyle that you want, realize, and that might be what parts of your lifestyle Have you loved this year. That’s the thankfulness for Thanksgiving, which by the way, you’re married and your spouse, nothing will do better for you this week, than just pausing with your spouse long enough to say it could be you guys are in a huge dust up right now. But if you come alongside your spouse, and say, I just want to let you know, I’ve really been thinking there’s like three or four things I’m super thankful for in our relationship this year. And I was listening to this podcast that I just sent you a link to that I think you should listen to. And I also subscribed. And I liked the video. And I commented, that’s how the conversation should generally go. But it’s this idea that you you get a chance to express that gratitude. Because the expression actually helps you focus better on realizing what you want to duplicate in future years. Family appreciation, which could be spouse, lifestyle, what you’re enjoying about your lifestyle, what you’re thankful for about your finances. And then identify what of those things do you want to maintain and or enhance in the new year, just identify the list, don’t worry about planning out your 2023 yet, but start capturing that list because this is a season where people are so thankful. And without getting a chance to capture the thankfulness, the opportunity to get deeper into thankfulness and 2023 by having those things show up. And you might find there’s a bunch of stuff you’re thankful for this year that happened along that you would like to not go away in future years.

18:44

And that, you know, thinking about so we’re thinking about gratitude and contentment is another version of that, you know, it’s a word that has a lot of similar meanings. And so if you’re thinking about what you’re thankful for, and what you’re contented with in your life, when you start to plan for any new things that you want to be thankful for next year, you know, what will come up is okay, well, here’s everything, you know, here’s a great matrix for how I’m going to decide to say no to things like what I’m not going to add, because anything that dilutes the current things that you’re content with, or it gets in the way of those, probably not a thing you want to add in pursuit or something, something else. So it really helps to triangulate this course in advance or at least give you a set of decision making tools. So you can really instinctively say like, oh, yeah, that’s not going to be the thing I want to I want to add if you’re, I was just reading an article if you’re in your 20s Someone said, this is a great time in your 20s a great time to say yes to as many things as possible, meet new people get involved with things. Then later on, like towards your 40s It’s like take control of your time and I really have found that it’s more and more about saying no to things that want to come crowd in. The things that I like that could be could be cool by themselves. That’s the tricky part. They can be looked at on their own, like, Yeah, that could be a pretty cool thing it’s like, but if it compromises this other more important thing, nope, that’s gonna

20:21

be tough. So here’s the homework from today’s episode, y’all, along, we’re sharing the episodes, somebody you could send to them and say, I want you to know, I’m thankful for you. And if you stick around the end of the episode, you understand why I sent it to you. But But the the idea is, there’s a stop, start modify here. And I would add to stop, start, modify, continue or enhance. And that would be that as we, as you look, at this year, there’s going to be things that you are clearly not thankful for that you want to stop. There are going to be things that were close to the mark, but not quite what you wanted for your aims, and you’re gonna modify those things, there’s gonna be new things that you want to be thankful for in 2023, that you realize you were thankful for in 2019, but the COVID pandemic blew it all up and you want that back in your life, maybe it could be going to church, or whatever that is to take on, what are those things we’re going to start. And then lastly, identify what we’re going to continue or enhance, that we’ve already done that we want to put protection around. Because as you start new things, as we talked about the beginning, you run the risk of robbing the opportunity set for you to be able to fulfill the things you already liked. Because you used up your capacity. Right? So anyhow, everybody, we hope that you have a great Thanksgiving, we hope that you get a chance to tell the people that you love how much you love them. People you’re thankful for how thankful you are for them. And that you get a chance to just escape away over your time off with just a piece of paper or a journal, and just write at the top what I’m thankful for in 2022. And think all the way back to last Christmas and last Thanksgiving, it’s good one year reflection. I think it’s almost divine design that we have Thanksgiving near the end of the year, that it really sets us up to be able to have the 2023 we want to more importantly set the strategy out we want for 2023 based upon our actual experience of what’s important to us, not based upon the fad, or current or most recent, whatever we listened to around Christmas when it came to our New Year’s planning. So Cory, any other words of wisdom for folks before we leave them today?

22:30

I know this has been a lot of fun, but we went sailing in the wild blue yonder.

22:35

Every now and then we got to do it. So everyone out there. We hope that this episode has been something you would be thankful for. Because it was a contribution to you being able to design and build a good life. We’ll see you next week.

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